I often think about how d@mn lonely I am - never had a boyfriend in my life, he11, I don't really have any friends (in person ;) ).  But anyway, I thought hard about what I look for in guys.  It's always stuff that counts for personality - friendly, good sense of humour, similar interests to me, but as far as looks go, I might be too picky?

I want a good looking guy I mean.  And I want him to have a great face, smile, nice voice, killer ass, and nice muscles in general, but not too bulky like a wrestler or anything.  I want him to be older than me.  But then I looked at myself in the mirror.  Now ok, I don't have a low self esteem or anything, and several members of this other board find me cute.  But, the truth is, I am overweight.  Not too much, but all over, I could stand to be thinner.  I can't get away with wearing the belly showin pants or shirts, cause I would just have this flab sticking out ( I know what's the style, but the style only suits thin girls!).  And I'm not one of those girls who sees what's not there.  I know I am slightly overweight.  The scale and the doctor even told me so, and I just don't like what I see in the mirror.

Anyway, I don't want to rant or anything.  My question is, do most people want someone who is near perfect, but they are far from perfect themselves?  What is the most likely thing to happen?  They have to lower their standards, or get in shape, or hope that someone so perfect would find someone not perfect right up their alley?

Is it fair to want without delivering the same thing?  Is it fair to take without giving?  Are all the ugly people in the world doomed to only find other ugly people to be with, or is there hope for any of us if we look hard enough?  If there's something undesirable that is possible to CHANGE, should we do so before we expect to find Mr/Ms right?

I'm not saying looks are the most important.  But, usually, in order to meet someone in the first place (I'm guessing, cause this isn't exactly my area of expertise), if you are attracted to them you might go over to them (if you are not way too shy like I am).  But, if you aren't quite a 'looker', who will go up to you? Yes, your soul and personality should be what makes people fall in love with you, but if you are attractive first, it gets the person over to you, then you can find out more about each other, and see if your personalities match.  Hopefully the combination of looks and personality does the person over.  Hopefully you both fall in love.

I guess I am just a real lonely girl, and I have high standards for a guy that I want.  But I don't know if I could deliver the same standards back.  I just want to be realistic, you know?  And not greedy, that I want THIS but I don't deserve it if I'm not that myself.  Maybe I shouldn't bother looking until I lose weight, but it is HARD I can tell you that.]

What's your opinion?

Just about everyone would be lying if they said that looks didn't matter in some way to them. Nobody approaches a strange person on the street because they think they might be a beautiful person inside.

As for being overweight, it is possible to loose it. Its early in the morning, I go back to school today. I've lost 25 pounds since the beginning of the summer.

i agree with Wheezle.

Also i allways say...... Love yourself as you will not break your own heart

All I want is  girl that looks like this:


And has really low standards.

Don't worry about it too much, Nadine.  Just do the best you can to make yourself better (physically, emotionally, etc), and maybe consider some people you may have initially passed over.

"..once you go asian, you'll never go caucasian"  

-------------
no. seriously. Corran is right.
security is more important than beauty.
(ie : are you "insecure"? people can tell)

the truth is,
all those "thin" girls who spend 2 hours on their makeup every day..
and constantly obsess over their own appearance..
..they are only doing it because they are insecure about themselves.
(and that tends to turn guys off, in the end, more than the initial attraction)



I think you should just be yourself.
anyone who doesn't like it, wouldn't make much of a boyfriend

a think having such high standards won't help your situation because so one may really liek u but u have overlooked them because they don't meet your criteria.

a think every1 has a certain type of person they like, well i no i do , but that don't mean if some1 amazing came along i wouldn't pass them up.

most of the time ur thinking "yeah gotta meet this perfect guy" but then u end falling for some1 totally different. so having the high standards is hindering u atm. but in saying that dont' think u don't deserve a good guy. cause every1 deserves some1 nice.

the loosk thing isn't to important . your example of going over to some1. yeah looks is first thing they see. but once u start talking its your personality that comes through! so your golden after that point.

ams ure every1 wants to marry some famous gorgeous actor/actress. ala agent style. but am sure every1 no's that its unlikely.

hhhell ad love to marry britney spears   esp after mtv awards    if u no what a mean lol.

overall i say this - get out there go to a few bars clubs. try a new sport out that way ur getting fitter and in shape and meeting new ppl in teh process. its what i ddi at uni and u meet loads of ppl  and most of the time there just liek u!
get talking to ppl and 1 - u'll make loads of new friends  and 2 - u may just find that special some1 yah looking for.

good luck ! am sure u won't need it

p.s - if yah get really desperate. marry one of the guys off here lmao least you have star trek in common.

Dont worry about being over weight, thats the worst thing you
can worry aobut, of just do you what you want to do, I'm sure
there's "Mr. Right" for you out there, what if he has great personallite, good looks, but not that buff?
j/k, is ok to be shy? cause I'm super shy like you   I dont
have "Girl" Friend, I mean not serious ones, well I did back in
my 5 year old days, only they were my cousins, we'd hang out
all the time, they were just friends, dont think the other way around